she woke up with a sticky ear
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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