that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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