Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
