wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
