xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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