It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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