her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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