She's JV to your varsity
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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