just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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