i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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