New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
