toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Having a random hookup so left but love u
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
