i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I could fuck to npr.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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