I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How does one acquire holy water?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
