I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
