it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
