Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
