We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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