he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
