So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
