fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
