I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
