I seem to have left my pride at pride
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
