u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
