ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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