just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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