Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
