I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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