New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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