is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
