i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
