Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
