she was so not down for the gang bang
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
