You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
