I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
