i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
