she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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