I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
