I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
