Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
