I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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