hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
