i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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