Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
