worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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