Me. At least after what I've been through.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
