mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
