Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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