she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
