i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
