the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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