The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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