It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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